Psalm 23 - Thursday

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.

God sets up the dinner table - He is in the roll of a servant here. I don't think the bible presents an image of God being a king and us exclusively serving him. It presents a balanced view, where there are times I serve him and other times he serves me. Sometimes he blesses me, other times I bless him. I seems to me to be the basis of a healthy relationship.

I get to sit down and eat while my enemies watch - I think this is the indented imagery.

Who are my enemies? My enemies are not people. I believe that if someone is alive – no matter who they are – God loves them and has an active plan to connect with them. I’m only called to love everyone, not speculate on their destiny, (and I have a long ways to go here).

In Ephesians, Paul says:

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against rulers, against authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.  

My enemies are this whole other array of beings I often ignore. Our culture insists they don’t really exist (but they make movies about them all the time - go figure). At some point, I would like to write more about this whole topic - the unseen world.

God, even though evil comes my way – and it has – I’m safe with you. You will take care of me each day in the midst of it. You will “prepare the table” and fill me with good things.

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Thursdays | God will fill me with good – I want to be filled

- Give us today our daily bread

- Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled

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The Fall - Friday

God's second question and their answer:

And God said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?”

The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”

Adam's response: God, you and the woman are to blame for this. It's everyone's fault but mine.

Eve did give him the fruit, but he's not interested in taking any responsibility.

Jesus said in the fifth Beatitude: Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy

After sinning, Adam believed that throwing his wife under the bus might get him somewhere. He showed "no mercy".

I think most people despise those who throw others under the bus. We instinctively know its wrong.

Yet I have still done it. I often do it my thoughts - my "prayers".

    - If my wife were different...
    - If my kids were different...
    - If my friends were different...
    - If my church was different...
    - If my work was different...
    - If my world was different...

... then all these negative things wouldn't be in my life. It's pretty easy for me to buy into the lie.

But God has shown me that mercy and forgiveness (taking and receiving), build up my life. These free me and bring me joy. Great people forgive great wrongs.

God, help me to forgive every last little thing that has ever been wrongly done to me.

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Fridays | My relationships are good, and God will build them up
- Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy
- And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors

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The Fall - Thursday

God's first question and their answer:

Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.

Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”

He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”

Adam and Eve went from "owning" almost everything in the garden to feeling exposed and hiding the bushes. They went from being full to being empty.

In the fourth Beatitude, Jesus said: Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

Adam and Eve had a hunger for evil, and they believed it would give them more than they already had. I have to admit I'm right there, often believing the lie. Evil only took the good things away.

God asks them "Where are you?"

This has become one of the most significant questions in my spiritual life. I've discovered it's not my place to ask God "Where are you?", it's my place ask God, "Where am I? You are exactly where you belong."

Adam answers that he is now afraid of God and is hiding. His faith has been broken. It isn't that he no longer "believes in God", it's that he no longer willing to approach him.

God, I'm often in the wrong place. I'm often unwilling to approach you. I'm often feel empty.

God, you've shown me you are right here with me. You are approachable. You want the best for me.

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Thursdays | My heart is hungry for good, and God will fill it
- Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled
- Give us today our daily bread

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Revelation - Letter Four

This letter is about being dedicated to doing good.

The fourth Beatitude: Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled

The fourth letter in Revelation:

To the angel of the church in Thyatira write:

These are the words of the Son of God, whose eyes are like blazing fire and whose feet are like burnished bronze. I know your deeds, your love and faith, your service and perseverance, and that you are now doing more than you did at first.

Nevertheless, I have this against you: You tolerate that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophet. By her teaching she misleads my servants into sexual immorality and the eating of food sacrificed to idols. I have given her time to repent of her immorality, but she is unwilling. So I will cast her on a bed of suffering, and I will make those who commit adultery with her suffer intensely, unless they repent of her ways. I will strike her children dead. Then all the churches will know that I am he who searches hearts and minds, and I will repay each of you according to your deeds.

Now I say to the rest of you in Thyatira, to you who do not hold to her teaching and have not learned Satan’s so-called deep secrets, ‘I will not impose any other burden on you, except to hold on to what you have until I come.’

To the one who is victorious and does my will to the end, I will give authority over the nations - that one ‘will rule them with an iron scepter and will dash them to pieces like pottery’ - just as I have received authority from my Father. I will also give that one the morning star. Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches.

Jesus says:
    - You are growing in doing good, but you still tolerate evil.
    - That evil will lead good people to do bad things.
    - I will stomp out the evil myself.
    - I will make those got involved with it suffer, so they go back and do good again.
    - To those who don't tolerate evil, just keep doing the good your doing.

God, help me to want to do good and actually do it. Search my heart and mind - cut out the bad and fill me with your spirit.

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Thursdays | My heart is hungry for good, and God will fill it
- Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled
- Give us today our daily bread

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Writing is hard work

I've decided that writing down my thoughts regularly is hard work.

It's not that I don't have things I want to write down - it's just the opposite. I have too many things I think about, and I can't decide which ones I should focus on. For my own satisfaction, I should just pick something and get on with it.

So in this post I'll note that I recently have started calling God "Dad" when talk to him. It really felt uncomfortable at first, but I'm getting used to it. It definitely makes me think differently about him.

Jesus said, this is how we should talk to God: This, then, is how you should pray: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name...

Jesus said a little later: Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

Paul wrote to the Roman church: For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.

Hear is what I think - I should have a comfortable relationship with God as my dad, but not casual or irreverent one. I am not his equal, I'm his child. He owes me no explanation to me for why he does what he does - I don't expect one in this life or the next. He does want me to approach him, to depend on him, to spend time with him.

Anyway, I guess this is an experiment for me. I will continue on with it for a year and see how it goes.

Dad, thanks for all you have done for us. Even with all the painful things that happen to us, you are a good God and you take care of us.

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Thursdays | My heart is hungry for good, and God will fill it
- Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled
- Give us today our daily bread

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Romans 12 - Thursday

Paul Wrote:

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

This section gives me a laundry list on how to keep my heart right. A good way to know if my "love is sincere" is to look at my life against these other things Paul lists out.

If I'm loving others, staying motivated to do what God asks, keeping my attitude right, and sharing my stuff, I think I can be assured in on the right track.

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Thursdays | My heart is hungry for good, and God will fill it
- Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled
- Give us today our daily bread

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Nature of Jesus - Thursday

As I'm writing this, I realize that the title "Nature of Jesus" is really in error. I don't know his true nature. I only know a small sliver of what I can understand from the bible and my experience. He created everything and holds it together. I'm only something he created.

Here is what I understand...

God created a people to be a light to the whole world, so that all might possibly connect with him. 

That people - the Jews - were abused by all the other powerful people on earth.

God promised to send a rescuer to them, to set them free. They called that rescuer "Messiah".

They waited and predicted and talked about the rescuer. They wanted things to be set right.

They were hungry for the Messiah - and he finally came.

John wrote: The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

Jesus came in a way that was unexpected and with a message of acceptance, which many people didn't like. They wanted judgement, he offered forgiveness. They wanted revenge, he offered peace. Most rejected him.

To those who accepted him, Paul wrote: Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.

I think Paul is saying to be very careful not to get pulled into judgement, which is a very real possibility - at least it is for me. He is reminding them (and me) that God will fill them and use them for good in the way he works - with acceptance, forgiveness and peace.

God, you didn't come to judge people. I need your help to not do it myself.

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Thursdays | My heart is hungry for good, and God will fill it
- Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled
- Give us today our daily bread

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Noah - Hunger for Righteousness

Before the flood, God told Noah that he was the only righteous man on earth.

The Lord then said to Noah, “Go into the ark, you and your whole family, because I have found you righteous in this generation

I have been trying to think of the mixed feelings he probably had as he built the ark, watched everything get washed away, and came back out on to solid ground. I going to assume that through all of this, he wanted to see good.

I think all along he was hungry for God and a better world - and as the beatitude goes, he was filled.

Then God blessed Noah and his sons, saying to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the earth. The fear and dread of you will fall on all the beasts of the earth, and on all the birds in the sky, on every creature that moves along the ground, and on all the fish in the sea; they are given into your hands. Everything that lives and moves about will be food for you. Just as I gave you the green plants, I now give you everything.

So before the flood, people only ate plants. After, God allowed people to eat animals as well - as he said, he gave them everything. They were full.

As I said in the last post, this whole story is hard for me to understand clearly. I already have a list of over a dozen "whys?" from this. A few are:

Why did God make people, just to kill off most of them in the flood?

Why did he kill the animals too?

Why did he have the whole ark and flood thing - why not just a simple plague?

Why where people vegetarians before, but could eat meat after?

I don't have good answers for any of these. But my faith doesn't hinge on having all the answers. It hinges on what God has shown me through his word and in my life. With lots of unanswered questions, I am still full.

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Thursdays | Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

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Miracles - Hungry for Righteousness

The fourth miracle John wrote about was Jesus feeding the 5000, which corresponds to the fourth beatitude recorded by Matthew:

Some time after this, Jesus crossed to the far shore of the Sea of Galilee, and a great crowd of people followed him because they saw the signs he had performed by healing the sick. Then Jesus went up on a mountainside and sat down with his disciples. The Jewish Passover Festival was near.

When Jesus looked up and saw a great crowd coming toward him, he said to Philip, “Where shall we buy bread for these people to eat?” He asked this only to test him, for he already had in mind what he was going to do.

Philip answered him, “It would take more than half a year’s wages to buy enough bread for each one to have a bite!”

Another of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, spoke up, “Here is a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish, but how far will they go among so many?”

Jesus said, “Have the people sit down.” There was plenty of grass in that place, and they sat down (about five thousand men were there). Jesus then took the loaves, gave thanks, and distributed to those who were seated as much as they wanted. He did the same with the fish.

When they had all had enough to eat, he said to his disciples, “Gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted.” So they gathered them and filled twelve baskets with the pieces of the five barley loaves left over by those who had eaten.

After the people saw the sign Jesus performed, they began to say, “Surely this is the Prophet who is to come into the world.” Jesus, knowing that they intended to come and make him king by force, withdrew again to a mountain by himself.

Many of these people followed Jesus because they wanted good to happen. They were sick and injured, and they were looking for healing. They wanted their kids, spouses, parents, friends to be made well. What a good desire - to be made whole, for things to be made right.

I don't know how much healing went on, as it's not written down. But Jesus comes to the point where he supernaturally feeds all these people. He shows them all that he is indeed God.

Just for consideration: the fourth statement in the Lord's Prayer is "Give us our daily bread". Interesting to think about how all this fits together...

God, fill me me with these good things: kindness, compassion, forgiveness, love for others. 

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Thursdays | Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

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Jonah - Hungry for Righteousness

After submitting to God, Jonah went to Nineveh and told them that disaster was coming:

Jonah obeyed the word of the Lord and went to Nineveh. Now Nineveh was a very large city; it took three days to go through it. Jonah began by going a day’s journey into the city, proclaiming, “Forty more days and Nineveh will be overthrown.”

They responded immediately:

When Jonah’s warning reached the king of Nineveh, he rose from his throne, took off his royal robes, covered himself with sackcloth and sat down in the dust. This is the proclamation he issued in Nineveh:

Do not let people or animals, herds or flocks, taste anything; do not let them eat or drink. But let people and animals be covered with sackcloth. Let everyone call urgently on God. Let them give up their evil ways and their violence. Who knows? God may yet relent and with compassion turn from his fierce anger so that we will not perish.”

Why did a powerful city of over 100,000 people listen to some foreign guy that probably looked horrible and stank like fish vomit? I don't know. I guess God was already working on them.

The main thing is that they knew what to do: become hungry and thirsty for righteousness. They took aggressive action to immediately clean up their lives in hopes of pleasing God and avoiding destruction.

God, I wonder what aggressive action you want me to take in my life?

Like these people did, I will call on you. I will give up my violence towards others - my grudges, my judgement, my unforgiveness, my disdain for people.

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Thursdays | Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

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Jesus - Hunger

Thursday: Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

After the birth of Jesus, the next major events described in the bible are Jesus’ baptism and temptation – I think they are connected.

Mathew wrote: Then Jesus came from Galilee to the Jordan to be baptized by John. But John tried to deter him, saying, “I need to be baptized by you, and do you come to me?” Jesus replied, “Let it be so now; it is proper for us to do this to fulfill all righteousness.” Then John consented. As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting on him. And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”

What is all this about? Jesus was God, why did he need to be baptized?

The time had come for a change: A change from his old life to a new life of ministry. I think in baptism, even Jesus was saying “the old has gone, the new has come”. It was now time to start on the path of bringing God and man together.

Jesus had to be tested, to prove that his new hunger was indeed for righteousness.

Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.” Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”

(There is too much in the temptation of Jesus to go into here, so I’ll do it sometime in the near future.)

Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him.

I think this statement speaks volumes. He had survived the temptation and was now able to move on to do what the Father had planned for him to do. In a sense, he had just passed where Adam and Eve had failed.

I’m really fascinated about the first question Satan asks – it gets right to the point of hunger.

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God, I hope I do well in testing. There are all these areas in my life were I want to move out of chaos and into goodness - and I know that testing stands at the gateway each time.

The Hole

C.S. Lewis: “Aren't all these notes the senseless writings of a man who won't accept the fact that there is nothing we can do with suffering except to suffer it?” ― A Grief Observed

Lewis hits the nail on the head. There is this huge hole that has been opened up, and I really want to fill it. I’m hungry for meaning and sense and a remedy for the pain. I’m trying to take the right action:

Being with my family

Meeting with friends

Reading the word

Talking to God

Trying to focus on someone else’s needs

Going out alone and crying for my loss

Writing this blog

None of it fills the void. There is nothing to do but endure it.

There are still a lot of good things in my life – many more good than bad. It’s easy for me to get overwhelmed and forget all the kindness, friendship and compassion I see every single day. 

I’m still amazed myself: Unless I work really hard, I forget there are billions of people on God’s agenda, every single one as important and I am. I keep thinking that my pain is at the top of His global priority list - which is not the case. So I will wait.

Jesus said: Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

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God, thanks for all the people in my life. Thanks for the goodness they bring to me. I hope I can do the same for them.

Thursday - Mustard Seed

Then Jesus asked, “What is the kingdom of God like? What shall I compare it to? It is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his garden. It grew and became a tree, and the birds perched in its branches.”

Thursdays: Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

Once the seed germinates, it starts to grow. It gets "hungry" to be filled with what's good for it - water, light, nutrients. Once it sprouts, I can get optimistic about its future. It's not going to stay in the ground dead, but it will live and grow.

King David said: Taste and see that the Lord is good;blessed is the one who takes refuge in him. Fear the Lord, you his holy people, for those who fear him lack nothing. The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.

I think God looks at me and says "I know you're hungry, and I know you want to be filled with good. I'm going to do that, one day at a time, to the extent you can accept it."

I think God looked at the sky on the fourth day of creation and said "you are empty and need to be filled," and put the sun, moon and stars there.

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God, please bless all those people I know who also know you. Give them the opportunity to do good, see good be done, and experience good being done for them. Fill up their lives.

Filled with Right

Thursday has become the day I look forward to in my weekly prayer routine. I move from three days of considering the gap between God's greatness and my lack of it, to three days of focusing on being made in the image of God and how He helps me express it.

The first part of the week is in the darkness, and the last part is in the light. On the first six days of creation, God says: there was evening, and there was morning. I think I need both in my life to understand Him. I need to be both hungry and to be filled.

The 4th blessing by Jesus: Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. 

I want to be filled with the right stuff - but I don't often know what the right stuff is. Jesus talked about this: 

To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable:“Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee (good guy) and the other a tax collector (bad guy). 

The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’

“But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’

“I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

It's easy for me to start thinking I know all about right and wrong. I know some things about it, but  I often get judgmental and miss the whole point.

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God, I'm missing a lot of good things inside. I want to be filled with things that are truly right - not religious nonsense, self promotion or judgement on others. I'm looking forward to you helping me with it.

Today

All I have is Today.

On Thursdays, I think about the fourth statement of the Lord's prayer: Give us today our daily bread. Jesus taught us to ask God for what we need for today only, not for what we need in the future. In the same sermon, Jesus explicitly said: Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

On the fourth day of creation, God creates the "today" that we are supposed to live in: And God said, “Let there be lights in the vault of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark sacred times, and days and years, and let them be lights in the vault of the sky to give light on the earth.” 

So God created this time period called "today" and asks us to focus on it - and that's enough. 

The writer of Hebrews states: See to it, brothers and sisters, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. Worrying about the future only leads me down the wrong path (sin) and I end up missing the greatness that God is offering me today.

Paul wrote: In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. There are things that must be done today to stay on the right path.

Today is this little slice of eternity we get to experience now. At the renewal of all things, God takes away the sun and moon and makes it a continuous "today" - see the end of of the book of Revelation for the story. I don't understand how this works, but it makes some sense to me.

It's hard for me to only focus on today. It's easy for me to get eaten up with worry about what might come and avoid what must be done. In my experience, this has only derailed me from living the way I want to. This  isn't only a "Christian" idea - it permeates humanity. Some examples:

• You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land; there is no other life but this. - Henry David Thoreau 
• Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. - Buddha 
•  Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present. - Marcus Aurelius Antonin

Thursday - Hunger and Filling

On Thursdays, three ideas come together in my spiritual practice: The fourth statement in the Lord's Prayer; The fourth Beatitude; The fourth day of creation:

- God please fill me with what I need
- I'm hungry for good, and will be filled
- God fills the sky (the void) with sun, moon and stars to mark time.

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My heart is hungry for good, and God will fill it.

After spending the first three days of the week considering how I'm in chaos, I now move to three days of being in a good state. I focus on growth and giving to others. I think the void in the creation story can signify the void I have inside of me. There are times I really want things to be right and good - especially with my kids.I get hungry for good to come - both in what I receive and what I can do.

Specifically, I pray for all those people I believe are not connected to God. I don't presume to know anything about someone's heart - I only know what I see. I also don't pray that they would "become like me", but rather that God would approach them and bless them.